Joy

I'm not usually one for New Year resolutions...
but this year, I have resolved to "do less, and chill more."

The last two years have been incredibly eventful, emotional, and far, far too busy. I feel that I have earned a "break" from schedules that book solid a month in advance, and entire seasons passing without a single day of rest. Of course, this doesn't mean I'm going to be a hermit, it just means I will be more mindful of my choices, lean my schedule towards things I feel are genuinely important, and try to balance it out with time for self-care, and creative expression.

This time last year, I felt I wanted to dance "more", and I did. There were many wonderful opportunities to dance, and after years of semi-hibernation, I feel that Kazmira has finally woken up. In just a year's time, I've changed my eating habits, lost 25 pounds, and am stronger and more cardio-fit than I have been in a long time. It feels really good, and I plan to keep it up, and it seems that there will be even more opportunity this year than ever.

In the fall, I was asked if I'd like to dance with a lovely group of women, and put on a big show. I have long considered myself "Troupe Impaired", and I was incredibly nervous about signing up for an adventure like that. In the magic world of my imagination, a good troupe experience would be a creative playground, where everyone felt heard, equal, and motivated, and the final product would be joyous and fun.
But in reality, I know don't have much of a head for choreography, and require a lot of rehearsing. Despite my experience, I'm not full of bright ideas, and I don't want to be the boss. I don't want drama, or politics, or weird chemistry. Combine that with a busy social life and a demanding career, and the idea of getting involved in a dance troupe is pretty scary.

... but I knew all these ladies, and liked them, and I do like to challenge myself (and my bullshit excuses), so I stepped up and said yes. The vision and the commitment required was high. There were moments when I was under-slept and over-extended when I questioned the wisdom of my choice, and whether I would do it again. But the ideas were good, and the chemistry was good. We all worked really hard, and I'm really proud of us.

The show was on Sunday, and it went spectacularly well. In fact, I'd go so far as to say it was a screaming success. In all my years of dancing, I have never come home from a show feeling more satisfied. When I got home, I curled up on the sofa with a cup of drinking chocolate, smiling and relaxed, feeling beautiful and loved, and accomplished. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. There will be more to come, and I'm so looking forward to it. After a much deserved break, we will reconvene and make some plans for future performances.

And now that the dance show is over, I am painting again. I would very much like to paint "more" this year, and bring my painterly self out of hibernation to share the spotlight with Kaz.

Incidentally, a friend at work has set up a gallery showing for us. Us being himself, some friends and co-workers, and our opening party will be this coming Saturday. Unfortunately, the dance show kept me so busy that I didn't have time over the holiday break to paint anything new, or even finish anything old. Now we're less than a week away from opening, and I feel strange about putting up out-of-date art, but haven't got enough time for oil paintings to dry.
So I've been mucking with acrylics again... those new fangled "30 min drying time" acrylics. I still don't like 'em, but at least I can whip up "new" to show off.

The exciting part of the gallery show is that we (the artists) intend to all participate in a live, communal painting "performance" at the opening party. Unusual and fun!

On top of all that, I'll be substitute-teaching a friend's dance class just prior to the gallery opening. What a year already, eh? Before January is out, I'll have had an amazing troupe experience, taught a dance class, and put art up in a gallery for the first time in over ten years.

On the surface, it sounds like my New Year's resolution is already in danger, but considering that all these events & doings are so close to my heart, it's not really work... it's just joy.